2010.

It's been 10 days into the new year, and I haven't blogged a retrospective post about the last year yet! :/ It's something I usually do at the end/start of every year, but I think the past few weeks have just been getting busier and more stressful with each week, and I don't see the list of work to be done finishing anytime soon. :( Don't get me started on the number of photos to process. Haven't even done my birthday photos which was in October. :/

Last year I did 2009 in 9 pictures, which I decided I shall not do this time because it'll get all very repetitive. Hahaha. That's not to say that 2010 wasn't filled with awesome pictures though.

So here's what I thought was the most significant parts of 2010.
In 2010, I went to New Zealand with Ryan and Lenson.
My hard drive crashed, meaning I lost most of the pictures I took in 2009.
I brought a teddy bear around Singapore to shoot.
I brought a new hard drive, which will hopefully never ever crash now.
I went for Combined Youth Camp, which was an awesome experience.
I shot pictures for the Youth Olympic Games, but no one shall get to see them because I can't post them HAH.
I caught the Sunrise at East Coast with awesome friends.
I ran a marathon.
I went for Youth Camp, which was another awesome experience.
I read 36 books this year. Of these I think the best fiction I read was Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, and the best non-fiction was Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.
And this year I got to know someone more. :)

The start of 2010 was really really horrid. With everything crashing and going wrong. But I think the end was good. :) Very good. Haha. Eee most people reading this would know what I'm talking about, if you don't then you probably don't know me very well and hence shouldn't read this blog anymore. :P

Running and Walking.

This has probably been the longest time I've ever went without updating this blog. Haha. And I'm leaving for camp tomorrow so I figured now would be as good a time as ever to update. I've been really really busy the past month or so. I mean, it's not like I ran a marathon or anything.

Oh wait I did run a marathon. Hahaha.

This is (a hastily shot picture of) my finisher medal. Proof.

 I totally ran the marathon just to be able to use that in a conversation. Hahaha. Anyways my timing was horrible, I alternated between running and walking most of the way, I suffered from knee joint pains for a week after the marathon, and I felt like dying towards the end of the marathon. But it wasn't that bad I think.

It wasn't as tiring as I expected it to be. Like, I was bracing myself for a terrible psychological battle to finish the race, but it was more like a small argument with my mind when I was running. Haha. I did feel like giving up towards the end though. Even though I was walking most of the way by then. But I still finished it. :) And one and a half hours before the 8 hour cut-off timing as well.

Wouldn't do it anytime soon again though. I think triathlons are more fun. At least that one don't have to run for so long!

Anyways, I've been really busy for the past month, besides running a marathon and all that. Thanks to some leaking pipes in the school's dark room, my module has been extended so I now need to continue going back to school even during the holidays. And I have a million and one photos to edit after shooting a million and one photos this month, and this is after two photography modules so I'm kind of sian with the whole photo-taking/photo-editing thing already.

I think the past week has been extra hectic because it was rushing here and there juggling between schoolwork and other commitments like worship practice and meetings. And I don't like rushing for something because I'm late. Okay it depends on what I'm late for; I think I'm very relaxed when I'm late for school hahaha. But if it's something important to me then I don't like the feeling of knowing I'm going to be late and not being able to do anything about it, except rushing to the place and hoping time goes by slower. :/

Okay off to pack bags and prepare to shoot and process another million and one photos for camp.

I've been getting angry/irritated/frustrated at more and more people as of late. I'm usually just angry for a brief period of time and then I'm fine. 15 minutes and I'm laughing again. But lately it's been like prolonged and bitter and antagonistic and negative and whatever useless adjective to add in here. 

I hope it's just schoolwork and stress and transient. I hope it's not a permanent change of temperament, because I dislike being angry. I'd rather be indifferent than angry and not let my emotions be controlled by others. Although indifference is not exactly a positive emotion as well. Indifference is simply not bothering to care anymore.

I'm wondering what's the reason behind this anger. Is my anger justified? Is it for a righteous cause or is it my own selfishness or envy? Is it my own pride that I 'have the upper hand' like a Pharisee? In that case am I really angry for the right reason. Do my emotions even need to be justified, or are they simply the product of my current environment and circumstances. Then again, should I heed my anger or should I write everything off as temporal, fleeting feelings.

At what point do we hold someone accountable for their actions. At what point do we decide to speak up and talk to someone about the morality of their actions. Or do we attribute the same thing we attribute ourselves, that it's just a bad day. Or that the person will realise and learn from it in due time. Or it's only temporary, and it doesn't do much harm.

I'm angry at myself then. At my reluctance to speak up. At my constant explanations and arguments with myself defending a person's actions. Even though I'm not that person.

Time.

6 hours to presentation.
5 days to shoot 6 pictures.
11 days to Standard Charted Singapore Marathon.
23 days to submission deadline.
31 days to Christmas. :)

I'm only looking forward to the last point. Hahaha. Okay sleep.

Cell Group.

I can't believe it's been two years, haha. Need to take another awesome picture cause Coleman is not in this one. O Levels are over!

Desire.

This week, I learnt that when you're competing with a group of people who want something more than you, chances are, they are going to get it. Every time.

It's not a radical, unfamiliar concept, in the sense that it's something I witnessed and experienced before, but I just never realised that I would be on the receiving end. In retrospect, it's something I should have expected, just that I never did. Maybe it's just the stress getting to all of us.

Okay I need to be more patient. Or more passionate. Whichever is better. 6 more days to shoot 8 images.

Updating.

I have not blogged for a very long time.