Sunday, 30 July 2006

30th July 2006

Went to Airport last night with my family. Gosh, the airport's changed so much, like different from what it used to look like. I went all the way to the airport to eat at burger king. Haha, but we did explore the place a bit, viewing mall is much smaller now, and the skytrain looks like an LRT. But the whole place looks different, doesn't look Singaporean anymore. O yar, the very first memory of the airport was the swensens and the playground. Hee, that was around primary school.

Didn't go Church today, went to help out with my mother's kindergarten's church's funfair's fishing stall. Quite fun to watch little kids catching fishes and looking so happy. I guess they don't know that most of the fishes die in a week. Ah well, and the fishes look so pitiful, all crammed into small little bags and gasping for air.

And there was this boy who stepped on one of the fishes? Then the fish's eyes were like popping then there was this small *pop* sound and blood started to ooze out. Yuck.

The Church was huge btw, and lots of stalls, much bigger than anything our church could come up with. Unless it's a combined Salavtion army funfair. Like last year's Ngee Ann City one.

My posts are like summaries. Lol.

Saturday, 29 July 2006

29th July 2006

It's the weekend, finally, now I can relax, take a break from np, hang out with friends, and study for tests this coming monday. Great.

Just to explain everything briefly, yesterday was school then np training then church. Reached home at 11 and crashed onto bed. Woke up late this morning and practised guitar.

Ok I'm finished. Lol, life is kinda dreary right now, can't really concentrate on anything, I'm just breezing through life. Haha, maybe I'll go try that career thingy that Tze Jie went to and now he's harping on how he should be a playwright.

Gah I should go spend more time with my family, like going out with them for dinner, it's more important than studies or my future right? Like that song a few weeks back at youth group.

Artist: Casting Crowns
Album: Casting Crowns
Year: 2003
Title: American Dream

All work no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time son I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

So He works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better;
Better in time

And he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

His American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing day
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
It'll just take a little more time

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand
Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time
'Cause he worked and he built with his own two hands
And he poured all he had in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You

Eh? Google is pretty useful when it comes to lyrics(or anything else really).

There, that ends my short post. I'm messing around with graphics animation for fun now. I prefer programming or photography though.
If you don't get it, then you obviously do not watch soccer. =P

Monday, 24 July 2006

24th July 2006

Important to me: I lost my watch, seriously considering if i should wear my sister's pink one.
Not so important: I realised today that I still have the flu. Bleh.
Important to me: I'm having muscle cramps all over, NP was tough as usual.
Important to anyone who reads this blog: I'm gonna be inactive for a long period of time. School National day parade trainings.
Important to anyone who wants to contact me: Msn messenger isn't working, thanks to a bunch of people nudging and nudging.

There, that's a whole new way to read a blog, decide which part you want to read and read it. Like a newspaper, with headlines. Haha.

I have this awesome plot for a thriller novel, yet I haven't had the time to write it down. And someone else has probably thought of it, (cos it's so scary.*shiver*) Maybe I'll write it out and see how it goes...

But for now, it's back to polishing my boots and getting enough rest. I heard there's a rumour about some test tomorrow. O wait, is that a rumour?

Thursday, 20 July 2006

20th July 2006

I have made an important discovery, I can deny it no longer. I am clumsy. =P

Dropped my phone thrice this week, not to mention banging my guitar around today,(amazingly, there's no scratch =P)

Ah well, Meryl says my blog posts are too long-winded, that's good right? I'm like writing in a code that only people with perserverance will be able to read. =P

There, that's a short post for u. =P

Wednesday, 19 July 2006

19th July 2006 i'm rushing. Actually felt slightly better today. =) But the coughing and sneezing is still there. Grr suddenly I have to go for things I didn't sign up for. Like the new paper be yourself day. All thanks to Jemaine, Marie and Zuo Ying repeatedly shouting my name.

Most people in other cases would be really angry if someone signed them up for something. Should I be angry that they are forcing me to come to school at 6? Participate in a competition when I'm coughing every 5mins these few days? Nah I won't be angry. Maybe they didn't know or something. Although it is irritating.

So now I have a competition to worry about. Including writing two speeches for me and Chee Sheng. Maybe I should try tamiflu. Hey, it works against bird flu right? Surely it'll work against "human" flu? Yar I'm not focusing on what I should focus on cause my focus is completely distracted by other focuses that are forcing me to focus on them. There.

Anyways, I decided to go as a guitarist. It's the easiest I can think of. Cause I don't have the energy to go find a costume(Jemaine, Marie and Zuo Ying keep suggesting:Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Lala, or Po)And anyways, guitar playing is meaningful to me, I guess.

Wait a minute, why's everyone affliating me with teletubbies?!Gah, it's my phone, ppc and ex-msn display picture. No wonder la. =/
*Disclaimer*Zheng Ming Hui is in no way affliated with teletubbies BBC. Any such connection is false and should not be taken as truth.

Time to go prepare myself for tomorrow, wish me luck.

Tuesday, 18 July 2006

18th July 2006

I guess you could say I was disappointed today. Flu and sore throat didn't stop and I felt drowsy and sleepy throughout lessons. And I couldn't concentrate when I needed to, like during the court hearing. Haish...

But now, I have to try and rest for NPCC tmr...

Monday, 17 July 2006

17th July 2006

I'm Fluey today, walking around sneezing, slight sore throat too, plus I was coughing badly the whole of today, gah hope it doesn't affect my performance at the court hearing tomorrow.

Speaking of the court hearing, group planning is crammed into what few days we have to prepare. Like today, maybe we'd do better if we had more time to plan. Or maybe we'd do worse. Ah well, more and more work piling up nowadays.

Time to go "revive" the class blog. It's been inactive in days.

Saturday, 15 July 2006

15th July 2006

K so maybe I haven't had the time to blog lately. I did feel like blogging about some things, but decided that what I say might spark another war. At least i'm blogging now =P

Yesterday kicked off with school, Mrs Manning didn't come, which means we only have 1 art lesson this term so far. Mrs Wong said something during assembly about CCA attendance, which got some people in the class worried and attend CCA again. Unfortunately, their going to start with uniformed groups first, biased right? But really, I think it's because uniformed groups have the highest rate of people skipping. Still, can't wait to see who's classified as "bad" and who is classified as "good". O wait, what if my attendence is poor?!?!

Anyways school ended at 1:30 but Mr. Yeo kept us back for a while. Which is worse cause we had to eat lunch, change to full uniform, and fall in by 1:50. Naturally, we were late, and Ncos scolded us like crazy again. Boarded the bus for HTA and slept most of the way.

At home team academy, we had to march all the way there...bleh, but it wasn't that stress since we had Kelvin, Yi hong and me rotating as timers, still, the march was long, but quite fun la, I think it's better than walking or running. And we can show off to the police trainees our drills. Hee

But when we reached the firing range, we had air con..but we still had to stand and wait. The shooting itself was fun...not everyday u get to hold a gun with real bullets. Although it uncannily feels like a video game. Mr Chang was stand right behind me, which means I cant grab any shells or shoot someone lol. But it was fun la, hopefully next year will be as fun.

After that was games day training, which was boring. Literally, cause we had to sit around and watch people play games. NP finally ended at around 7...rushed for Church after that.

Small group was fun, last time we'll be seeing Ben tho, cos he's going for ns. Bleh but it ended around 10:30, went home after that. Bryan walked with me to the bus stop, but bus 13 took a long time to come. So it was around 11 when I reached punggol station.

Forgot to look at the haunted house lol. But punggol is scary enough without a haunted house. There was literally no one around when I walked home. Just one or two cars, absolute darkness in some places. Traffic lights all blinking by itself. Scary...imagine if everyone in this world dissapeared except u...

Today though, I felt super tired, had to drag myself out of bed...drag myself to school. Then i realised i was late. Ah well. At least my squad didn't have to do punishments for me being late.

Games day as boring as friday but...still quite boring, we could walk around North Vista Secondary. But yea, we didn't win first prize...sad...ah well. Ended at around 1+...rushed off(again) home to change. Rushed off from home to J8(Yar that's why i can't blog) to watch pirates of the carribean 2.

Movie was nice, but i think i slept at some part. Still, quite interesting plot, with lots of room for a sequel(the last part was a cliffhanger) Ah well, I got a chance to meet my old schoolmate again, that counted for something.

And now, I'm back home, using the computer.

Friday, 7 July 2006

7th July 2006

I'm probably going through one of the worse times in my life.

Today was sports day. And how did we participate? We stood around for 2hours+ in shifts. Quite a boring way to participate. But for the first time in a few weeks I could just stand still and focus on what my life was all about. Of course, I got distracted a few times by Mr. Ang or Joey Sir or someone trying to cut through. But those few hours weren't put to waste really, I think I know what I should do now.

Yesterday night though, was the real crusher. Went for dinner with my family, and i forgot to bring my ppc to hear music..immediately regretted it on the way back. Yea I overheard my parents talking, and trying to ignore what they said was impossible unless i covered my ears. Maybe I shouldn't have heard it, but somehow, what they said did fit in with the situation now.

Yea, I realized then that my Church, was going through worse problems than anything I had gone through before. It's so bad that some part of me wishes I could go back to before, when I wasn't exactly a Christian and I was ignorant about Church problems, some part of me wishes I did not go for dinner with my family.

But I heard it, and because I did, I realised that everything, every part of my life, is completely crashing down on me.

I always thought of my Church to be the righteous place, where almost everyone was a Christian, everyone cared, that Church was different from school life. But looking at the problems we are facing, I was mistaken all along. My Church is going through almost the same problems as the class, if not worse. The place where I thought was holy and where people were Christians suddenly turns out to have the worst problems.

And if I ever thought I was problems, they all seem peanuts compared to what my father must be going through right now. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to be in his shoes, how he can take the pressure. If he can pull through this, why can't I? I feel just so stressed out with everything, but yet, my troubles are nothing compared to his.

But yet, I just feel like giving up, like not caring about whether someone is affected by someone else's actions. Like fading away and letting others take over, but the problem is, who is there to take over if I give up? What would happen if I didn't confront Tze Jie about his actions towards Kenny? Who in his right mind will go against his friends?

But what would happen to Kenny if I didn't confront Tze Jie? Wouldn't everything still continue? Or will someone stop it? If I don't do this, who will? You?

If you would please tell me cause I'm sick and tired of having to remind people to do the right thing. I'm sick of having to confront people and having to stand up of others, don't you people have a conscience? Now everything is crashing down around me and people tell me I'm selfish and contradicting myself. Perfect. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

There are other things, but I won't blog about them, because it would cause a commotion and everyone's spirits will be dampened. Right now I just feel like going to Heaven and enjoy an eternal life of happiness, but I can't, things still need to be done.

Thursday, 6 July 2006

6th July 2006

I feel tired today, don't ask me why, i just feel...tired..of everything I guess. Maybe it's because of recent events, maybe it's because i slept at 2last night, I don't really know the anwser.

I don't even feel like blogging really, life seems devoid of purpose right now, like i just have neither energy nor enthusiasm to go and do something about things, and maybe I should have, but right now I'm just struggling along and doing what comes in front of me. Maybe i should have a planned set of goals in my life. Like: Secondary 3, take combined science or pure geog, go jc, go nus, take up computer science, graduate, find a job, work, get married by 30, have 15kids, retire at 50, die at 80.(it's an example.)

Isn't that kinda mudane? All rules are set and planned and everything is by the book, i don't think i'd like to lead this kind of life. I know some people do, but is there actually a sense of adventure? Everything becomes boring when you know what's ahead of you. Like(O I have to do this today, do that tomorrow)...I'm staying away from that kind of lifestyle.

You know, I have this uncanny feeling that there's someone out there are secretly conspiring against me, call me weird but sometimes you look at people and wonder what they are talking about right? What if they are secretly talking and backstabbing you? What if the friends I trust in class are actually backstabbing and laughing at me when I'm not around? It just hit me these few days that not many people in this world can be trusted, that many of them talk about you for their personal benefit. Maybe it's just me and my weirdness, haha think about it though, how many people will you meet in your life who will talk bad about you behind your back? Especially in class now with all the rivarly and bitterness.

Monday, 3 July 2006

3rd July 2006

Eh i heard from ppl that i'm promoted to corporal. Most likely true right? But i didn't expect to pass my third class test. But with promotions everyone becomes sad again. Haish, but I think people should be disappointed only if they put in their effort. And I dun see why Eugene wasn't promoted. He's been GOH twice already, more than any of us, and yet thanks to the Nco camp, he isn't promoted. Must be a crushing blow.

Anyways, cant really blog now...homework needs to be done.

Saturday, 1 July 2006

1st July 2006

So today was the day, SYF opening ceremony, finally, after two months of trainings, it's over. And it left a lasting impression on my mind, having never participated on a parade in this scale.

Maybe i won't blog about the parade in detail, since most of u weren't there. Hee but we waited for a looong time. But it was worth it la, seeing the crowds all cheering and shouting, is quite heartening. Cedric was somewhere behind me too, (he was singing =P)

Yar after that i went to "celebrate" at pizza hut with npcc mates. Yar saw Tze jie, Elisa, Chuan hui and Kun zi. They went to see the parade too, turns out Joey Sir, Ncos and Seniors were also there. *gasp*

Suddenly we saw Yun Kai. And he (thankfully) told me that he couldn't make it for the meeting at 8 tonight. But at least he was there to remind me and i could post-pone it.(it was around 7:45 and i told the rest i would eat with them)

So we went to eat, but it took super long for the food to come. And yea, i lost track of time and before i knew it, it was 8:50. Immediately i rushed off without eating the rest of the pizza. Ran home all the way, turned the computer on immediately, rushed to put my bags down in my room, and came back to the computer.

Guess what? Only Jian Hui and Kenny were online. Turns out Keane's computer crashed, Yun Kai had to go to his other house with no internet, and Jian Hui had to sign off (because i was late for 17mins and he could only stay for 15) Well so much for a group meeting, so much for rushing home all the way, I'm greeted with one person online to discuss with me.

I guess I was in the wrong, I shouldn't have lost track of time. If I was feeling angry I'd probably post about who expects a group discussion to be 15minutes but, no point arguing when something's already done.

Maybe it's stupid of me, going against my friends and telling them what they are doing is wrong. Should I just go :"Whatever" and care about myself? Should I spare a thought for my friends? Tell me, would you like a friend who just agrees with whatever you say and supports you in everything you do?Would that be called friendship anymore? Or would you rather a friend who pretends to agree with everything you do but behind your back criticises you.

Maybe I should stop, just give up and worry about myself, would that be right? Is not doing a thing the right thing to do in such circumstances?

Probably a good way to talk bad about someone is not mention his name at all, that way you can say you "didn't" say anything about that person. (Although in court if the judge deems that you did say something about that person then you would still be charged) But I don't believe in that Keane, it's a pointless way of making someone realise he/she is the object of your criticism. Sure, you want it to stop, but would that be right? Would forgetting about everything mean that it didn't happen? Is forgetting about murder mean you didn't kill?

Think about this: Does saying I criticise too give you the right to criticise others?

There is a fine line between criticism and rebuking. And this is for Keane specifically.
2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

You go to Church weekly, does the Bible say Christians can insult others? Does the Bible say we can shout vulgarities and curse? Just because I don't say it, does it mean it's all right? If you took my words as criticism then I'm sorry. I Am Sorry.

But it's just history repeating itself isn't it? Kinda like taking what I said and making it seem more than what it is. Reading through my earlier post, I don't see a reason for you to feel insulted. If you feel angry that I chose to blog about you then by all means please say so, I'll come find you after school instead.

Maybe my actions aren't perfect either, but if they aren't, why are you following what I do? Am I your leader and you follow my examples? Who is our leader Keane? Who are you following?

Maybe I've sinned unwittingly, unknowingly, maybe in my actions my words have been taken as words of hatred, and maybe you feel that I am being too hurtful, maybe I should have come up to you on a school day and talked to you about this? Should I? If I have sinned, then I'm sorry, whether u accept it or not.

If everyone lies, does that give you the right to lie? If everyone fights, does that give you the right to fight? If everyone critcises, does that give you the right to criticise?

Love the warrior, Hate the war. Love the person, Hate his actions. You just want to forget about everything? To act like it never happened? If someone kills but no one sees it, did that person kill? Truth is never changing no matter what others think or believe.
If everyone believed the Earth was flat, will the Earth be flat?

Do not Judge, For you too will be Judged.

I don't even wanna blog about what you say your shortcoming is, I always thought that there were just 2Christians in our class, now...