I've been getting angry/irritated/frustrated at more and more people as of late. I'm usually just angry for a brief period of time and then I'm fine. 15 minutes and I'm laughing again. But lately it's been like prolonged and bitter and antagonistic and negative and whatever useless adjective to add in here. 

I hope it's just schoolwork and stress and transient. I hope it's not a permanent change of temperament, because I dislike being angry. I'd rather be indifferent than angry and not let my emotions be controlled by others. Although indifference is not exactly a positive emotion as well. Indifference is simply not bothering to care anymore.

I'm wondering what's the reason behind this anger. Is my anger justified? Is it for a righteous cause or is it my own selfishness or envy? Is it my own pride that I 'have the upper hand' like a Pharisee? In that case am I really angry for the right reason. Do my emotions even need to be justified, or are they simply the product of my current environment and circumstances. Then again, should I heed my anger or should I write everything off as temporal, fleeting feelings.

At what point do we hold someone accountable for their actions. At what point do we decide to speak up and talk to someone about the morality of their actions. Or do we attribute the same thing we attribute ourselves, that it's just a bad day. Or that the person will realise and learn from it in due time. Or it's only temporary, and it doesn't do much harm.

I'm angry at myself then. At my reluctance to speak up. At my constant explanations and arguments with myself defending a person's actions. Even though I'm not that person.

Time.

6 hours to presentation.
5 days to shoot 6 pictures.
11 days to Standard Charted Singapore Marathon.
23 days to submission deadline.
31 days to Christmas. :)

I'm only looking forward to the last point. Hahaha. Okay sleep.

Cell Group.

I can't believe it's been two years, haha. Need to take another awesome picture cause Coleman is not in this one. O Levels are over!

Desire.

This week, I learnt that when you're competing with a group of people who want something more than you, chances are, they are going to get it. Every time.

It's not a radical, unfamiliar concept, in the sense that it's something I witnessed and experienced before, but I just never realised that I would be on the receiving end. In retrospect, it's something I should have expected, just that I never did. Maybe it's just the stress getting to all of us.

Okay I need to be more patient. Or more passionate. Whichever is better. 6 more days to shoot 8 images.

Updating.

I have not blogged for a very long time.